Monthly Archives: March 2019

Sepia Saturday: An Uncle I Never Knew – Letters of Condolence

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The month of January and a health emergency declared in the state of Washington because of a measles outbreak had me thinking about an uncle I never knew.

This is a continuing series about my uncle Wilbur Thomas Hoskins, who died at five years of age due to complications following measles. You can catch up here:
A Tow-headed Boy
Measles
Who was with the family?
Funeral Record
The Salvation Army Offers Assistance

As the extended family learned the news of Wilbur’s death, some sat down to write words of condolence to Tom and Eveline. Two of Tom’s three siblings were with Tom and Eveline in Rockford, Illinois, so most of the letters were from Eveline’s siblings.

The first to write were Eveline’s brother, Carl Coates, and his wife, Nellie Metcalf Coates. Carl and Nellie wrote individual letters on opposite sides of one piece of stationery. Wilbur died early on the morning of January 18th. Apparently Carl and Nellie had just received a letter telling of Wilbur’s illness when they learned of his death. They sat down to write on January 19th, but instead of sending their letter to Rockford, they sent it to Joe and Alice Coates (Joe was Carl’s and Eveline’s brother), probably assuming that the family would return to their hometown of Mystic, Iowa for the funeral.

 

Burlington Iowa
1-19-30

Dear Brother & Sister

We are certainly grieved to get the sad news of Wilburs Death. And my heart goes out in Sympathy for both of you. as this is an awful shock for you both. We would like to be with you at this time to help comfort you in your hour of need. but as we cannot our Sympathy is with you and Love to you all

Brother Carl.
(over)    

Dear Brother and Sister:-

My we were so shocked to get the news of poor little Wilbur’s death. We never knew he had been sick until about half and hour before when we rec’d a letter from your Mother.

I am not a very good letter writer when it comes to a case like this. I never know just how to express myself, but when you read this you will know I am sending you all the sympathy that one can possibly give.

With love to all,
Nellie

Alice Tingle Coates wrote a letter on January 21st. Alice was the wife of Eveline’s brother Joe. She and Eveline were in the same high school graduating class and had been friends for many years. I think they also attended normal school together.

Joe Coates, Jr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alice Tingle Coates

Mystic, Ia
Jan 21-1930

Dear Eveline & Tommy –

So shocked & very, very sorry to hear of little Wilbur’s death & know that both of you are finding it very hard to bear up from the loss. It is doubly hard to give him up at such short notice. Words of sympathy cannot help you much I know at this time & I am a very poor hand at giving comfort but dear old chum, Eveline, please know that I certainly do sympathize with both of you in this terrible hour. It is a heavy cross indeed to shoulder.

It came as a great shock to Joe as he didn’t even know he was sick. So we both send our heartfelt sympathy to you & hope that time will help to heal this great hurt.

Lovingly,
Alice and Joe

I am enclosing a letter from Carl & Nell that they sent to me to forward. Nellie is forwarding this dollar that came from Blanche. She thot you were bringing him back here & she sent it for flowers.

The Nellie who sent the dollar for flowers was Eveline’s sister, not to be confused with her sister-in-law.

Blanche Coates

The final letter is from Eveline’s sister Blanche Coates, who looks like she might be expecting one of her several children in this photo.

Jan. 23, 1930

Dear Eveline and Tommy

Our hearts sympathy is with you both.. If we had only know you were not taking the little fellow home we could have been there Monday, By driving as far as Elgin in the car then taking the bus. But we did not know and I’m very, very sorry. It’s hard to reconcile ourselves to his leaving. But we know we must carry on, with the one and only consoling tho’t, that he’s one of God’s little angels, he’ll never have the suffering an heartaches that we have.

If there’s any thing we can do to help you financially or otherwise, don’t be afraid to let us know. 

Miles has been out of work since Christmas, but we still have a few dollars and if you kids need them your more than welcome to part of them.

It’s been comforting to know  that Margie has been with you doing the little acts of kindness that I would have been glad to do, you have always been so good to me. An I know you realize how hard it is for me to get out with four little ones and the weather staying 26 below. 

Write when you can Honey. I know your poor heart is broken and I grieve with you & for you.

Lovingly,
Blanche

Blanche and her family were living in Wheeling, Il – outside of Chicago – at the time of Wilbur’s death. She realized too late that he was to be buried in Rockford, Il and not in their home town of Mystic, Iowa.

The final bits of ephemera that I will classify as correspondence are two postcards. They are not postmarked, so may have been included with letters that are no longer with the others, or perhaps given in person at another time.

On the back is the notation
Wilbur Hoskins
From
Vivian

Vivian was Wilbur’s cousin, daughter of Tom’s sister Edna Hoskins and her husband, John Martin. Vivian and Wilbur were very close in age – she would also have been about five years old at the time of Wilbur’s death. I don’t recognize the handwriting. Maybe her mother, Edna wrote it and this was Vivian’s way to participate in expressing sadness at the loss of her cousin.

The last postcard has nothing written on the back except “Wilbur.” I have no idea why this particular postcard was chosen or who it was from. I don’t readily recognize my grandfather Tom’s handwriting like I do my grandmother’s, but this does remind me of his writing.

This is my contribution to Sepia Saturday. Please visit other participants who likely responded to the prompt with dancing and good times.

Sepia Saturday provides bloggers with an opportunity to share their history through the medium of photographs. Historical photographs of any age or kind become the launchpad for explorations of family history, local history and social history in fact or fiction, poetry or prose, words or further images. If you want to play along, sign up to the link, try to visit as many of the other participants as possible, and have fun.

Sepia Saturday: An Uncle I Never Knew – The Salvation Army offers assistance

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The month of January and a health emergency declared in the northwestern U. S. because of a measles outbreak had me thinking about an uncle I never knew.

This is a continuing series about my uncle Wilbur Thomas Hoskins, who died at five years of age due to complications following measles. You can catch up here:
A Tow-Headed Boy
Measles
Who was with the family?
Funeral Record

Wilbur (standing), Eveline, and Albert Hoskins

In the funeral record kept by my grandmother, she documented that the clergy who conducted the funeral service for Wilbur was a Salvation Army captain. I contacted The Salvation Army Central Territory Historical Museum to ask a few questions about what the funeral might have been like. Just as promised, I received a helpful email this past Monday from Major Gloria Stepke, Historical Museum Aide. I will quote her email and add some comments.

“It is most interesting to try and understand what a child’s funeral would have been like in 1930.  The English speaking officers in Rockford during the time in question were Ernest and Annie Millman.  The Millman’s had a teenage daughter and son.  I have tried to recreate this sad and difficult time that your Grandparents went through.  When their son died perhaps a nurse or doctor thought that they needed some assistance in what to do next.  Perhaps that is how they got connected with The Salvation Army.  They had not been in Rockford very long to have found a church(home).  In those days some churches would not do a funeral service for someone who was not a part of that congregation.  During the Depression a lot of people would not have the money for a funeral home service or to buy a burial plot.  Sometimes people donate grave plots to The Salvation Army and they are used for the purpose of burying people who cannot afford a grave plot.” 

I think her suggestions ring true – especially that a doctor or nurse may have referred them to The Salvation Army. And, although I found a receipt for a casket, embalming, and hearse, as well as medical bills, I did not find a receipt for a cemetery plot. If my grandparents were offered a burial plot, I know it would have been very helpful to them and much appreciated.

I haven’t been able to find any photos of the Millman family, but I found them in the Rockford city directory and census records. Ernest and Annie were both immigrants from England and I can imagine my grandmother feeling a connection to them because both of her parents had also immigrated from England. The Millman’s older child, the teenage daughter Olive, is listed in the 1930 census as doing clerical work for The Salvation Army. This leads me to wonder if she might also have attended the funeral to assist, or as a “Lassie” – but that is purely imaginative wondering.

“Now about the funeral service in the home on South Church Street.  I would assume that this was your Grandparents home.  In the early days the deceased person was laid out in a casket/wooden box that was set in the Parlor/living room.  Family members would view the deceased loved one there.  The funeral was held there as well.”

“I am not sure what your religious affiliation is but The Salvation Army does not use a liturgical form of service.  The Salvation Army Officer could have read from the Gospel of Mark, chapter 10, verses 13-16, these words,

“People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.  When Jesus saw this, he was indignant.  He said to them, “let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  And he  took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”  

If your Grandparents did not profess ‘Faith in Christ’ the officer might have challenged them to read the Bible and find a church to worship in.  He would have also invited them to The Salvation Army the following Sunday and given them the time for the service.  I am sure they would want to be with their son (again) some day.” (My grandparents had an affiliation with a church in their home town, so they would have professed their faith.)

There may have been one or two women to sing during the service, perhaps with accordion or guitar.  The two songs that might have been used are, “In the sweet by and by”  and  “Safe in  the arms of Jesus” 

You can find several versions of “In the Sweet by and by” online, but I chose this one with just the few female voices and simple instrumentation because it seems most like how I imagine The Salvation Army Lassies might have sung – although without the Southern accent.

Major Stepke was kind enough to include the lyrics to both hymns in her email:
Safe in the Arms of Jesus
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on his gentle breast
There by his love o’ershaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! tis the voice of angels
Borne in a song to me
Over the fields of glory,
Over the jasper sea.
Chorus
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on his gentle breast,
There, by his love o’ershaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care,
Safe from the world’s temptations,
Sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow,
Free from my doubts and fears;
Only a few more trials,
Only a few more tears.

At the grave side The Salvation Army officer would conduct the ‘committal’ service’.  The singers might sing again.  The officer would say, “As it has pleased Almighty God of His great mercy to take unto Himself the soul of this young boy, we therefore commit his body to the grave (some earth can be thrown on the coffin while this is being said) earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who shall change our body, that it may be like unto His glorious body, according to the mighty working whereby He is able to subdue all things to Himself.” 

There are no photographs to document the funeral in the home or the presence of Ernest or
Annie Millman or The Salvation Army Lassies. Wilbur was buried at Willwood Cemetery in Rockford, Il. His burial location in Division K Tier 1 Space 1. A few photographs were taken at the graveside.

In the previous post, I noted that there were probably three floral arrangements given in tribute to Wilbur. These three seem to be placed at the the head, foot, and center of Wilbur’s grave.

In the background, a car is visible that may have been the hearse – at a cost of $9.00.

My grandfather, Tom Hoskins, kneeling at his son Wilbur’s grave. The center floral arrangement is without the flags in this photo.

Tom at Wilbur’s grave

Another view of the gravesite, this time with my grandfather and his brother and sister.

Tom Hoskins, Ethel Hoskins Bland, Warren Hoskins

One last photo from the burial. Unfortunately, part of my grandfather’s head was cut off.

My grandmother does not appear in any of the photographs. She may have preferred not to have her picture taken. She, or her sister Marjorie, may have taken the photographs.

No headstone was placed to mark Wilbur’s grave. I contacted the cemetery several years ago and got the plot location and the cost of placing a marker. I’ve wondered if this is something other family members would want to contribute to in memory of Wilbur and my grandparents.

I am grateful for the assistance my grandparents received from The Salvation Army in their time of need – and for the assistance I received from the helpful museum staff.

This is my contribution to Sepia Saturday. Please visit other participants and see what they have cooked up in response to the prompt photo.

Sepia Saturday 459 : 2 March 2019

Sepia Saturday provides bloggers with an opportunity to share their history through the medium of photographs. Historical photographs of any age or kind become the launchpad for explorations of family history, local history and social history in fact or fiction, poetry or prose, words or further images. If you want to play along, sign up to the link, try to visit as many of the other participants as possible, and have fun.