Tag Archives: Thomas Hoskins

Sepia Saturday: An Uncle I Never Knew – The Rest of the Story

Posted on by
6

The month of January and a health emergency declared in the state of Washington because of a measles outbreak had me thinking about an uncle I never knew.

This is the last post in a series about my uncle Wilbur Thomas Hoskins, who died at five years of age due to complications following measles. You can catch up here:
A Tow-headed Boy
Measles
Who was with the family?
Funeral Record
The Salvation Army Offers Assistance
Letters of Condolence
bills to pay

I first introduced Uncle Wilbur in this photograph, taken when he was three months old and in the arms of his parents, Eveline and Thomas Hoskins.

Eveline, Wilbur, Tom Hoskins

A few months after Wilbur’s death, my mother was born. Only one of the other five children born to Eveline and Thomas knew Wilbur – Albert, whose fourth birthday was the day of Wilbur’s funeral.

Front: Montell, Eveline, Wilma 2nd: Albert, Tom Back: Doris, Roy

My mother and I lived with my grandparents from the time I was two to almost eight years of age. I never saw any pictures of Wilbur or heard about him that I remember. I’m sure it was my mother who told me about him sometime later. Mom gave me three bits of information that stuck with me: Wilbur died of Bright’s Disease; my grandfather had a “nervous breakdown” after Wilbur’s death; and my grandfather vowed he would never give another child his name. (Wilbur’s middle name was Thomas). I’ll take these one at a time.

Cause of death:

It wasn’t until I got a copy of Wilbur’s death certificate that I learned that measles was contributory to Wilbur’s death – preceding the nephritis (inflammation of the kidneys) listed as cause of death. Bright’s Disease, the cause of death given by my mother, is a historical classification of kidney diseases that would be described in modern medicine as acute or chronic nephritis.

Sometimes death certificates contain errors, but I feel confidence in this one. Having the receipts for payment of bills to Dr. Bissekumer, I can match the signatures on the death certificate to the receipts and I also know that he saw Wilbur on more than one occasion. He was the attending physician.

My grandfather had a nervous breakdown:

I emailed the remaining members of Wilbur’s generation (one sibling and his wife, and two spouses of siblings) and no one recalls any photos of Wilbur displayed in the home. Uncle Roy thinks it was his brother Albert who told him about his dad’s breakdown and he and his wife don’t remember any conversations about Wilbur. Albert’s wife recalled a conversation she had with my grandmother:

I believe it was your grandmother who told me your grandfather suffered what was then called a nervous breakdown, it seems soon after Wilbur died and he spent some time in a facility, then I assume needed to stay nearby after his release perhaps for further treatment and that is when he stayed with Ethel and Mark. It would seem likely that your grandmother moved back to Mystic sometime around this time because of the lack of money. I can’t imagine how torn she must have been.

I haven’t been able to find documentation to fill in the gaps on this. There is that odd postcard from a health resort in Excelsior Springs, Missouri that just says “Wilbur” on the back. This was saved for a reason, as was the notation of Wilbur’s name on the back.

Excelsior Springs is not close to either Rockford, Il or Mystic, Iowa. Did Grandpa take a trip to Excelsior Springs in hopes that the mineral waters and baths would bring relief and healing to his suffering? Might he have spent some time in treatment here?

The one thing I did find was a receipt from a doctor in Rockford for an examination in August. This was apparently a family practice clinic. Grandpa could have gone for an illness or to seek help with his depression or whatever form of distress his grief manifested.

So where were each of my grandparents in the months after Wilbur’s death?

Receipts from a doctor’s office shared in my last post, show a change of address for my grandfather between the January 29th payment and the April 12th payment, moving from the home he and my grandmother shared on Church St. to the address of his sister Ethel and her husband’s home on Kishwaukee St.

The 1930 Census, taken April 5-7 shows my grandfather listed as a lodger with his sister and brother-in-law.

Of particular interest is the D in the column for marital status. No other evidence of divorce and not part of our family story. I wonder who provided information to the census taker and how they worded their answer to the question. Whatever was said by whom, the clear indication is that my grandparents were not living together at that time. Tom was in Rockford and Eveline had returned home to Mystic.

I also found a Mortgage document dated 30 April 1930, although on the reverse, the year looks like 1931 – so I’m confused. What do you think?

date on front

date on back

If it is 1930, then my grandfather made a trip to Mystic where they signed a mortgage on a piece of property. If 1931, then it was the following year.

My mother was born July 7, 1930 and I have a photo copy of the birth announcement sent to Grandpa to let him know of her arrival. He was in Rockford when she was born. The address is to the home of his sister Ethel and her husband.

And the receipt to the doctor above places my grandfather in Rockford at least through August.

Albert’s wife put me in contact with Ethel’s and Mark’s daughter:
I do remember hearing about Wilbur’s death but not more than you have already. You are correct that uncle Tommy stayed with my folks for a time as did my uncles from both sides of my family. My folks were the first to go to Rockford to find work during the depression.  I don’t think uncle Tommy stayed too long with them as the other brothers arrived  to find work and bring up their families.

So I can’t confirm that Grandpa spent time in a facility, only that he lived with his sister Ethel and her husband for a time after Wilbur’s death.

None of the other children had family names, so I guess that nugget was true. Grandpa seemed to feel it bad luck.

Of more interest is how my grandparents dealt with their grief and loss over the years. As noted above, no photographs or mementos of Wilbur were visible in their home.

Albert’s wife : Your grandfather never mentioned Wilbur in my presence; Al had indicated that his Dad had never gotten past that loss.  It hit me as I was putting this together that he was very vocal about the bad things that happened to him and for lengthy periods of time after but this was not one of them.

Your grandmother spoke to me just once about Wilbur; I don’t remember the circumstance but was likely sometime after Stephen was born. She was very matter-of-fact, rather dispassionate I think. She said that Wilbur had been very sick with what was then referred to as red measles and he didn’t get better. 

I always thought of my grandfather as a worrier. I would help my grandmother with the dishes and he would interject, “Be careful. That knife is sharp.” Or, “Be careful crossing that street.” or “Don’t get too close to the road.”

My grandmother, on the other hand, gave me the sharp knife to dry, sent me down the street on errands, let me try my hand at ironing (for which I carried a scar on my forearm for a good many years), among other things. She was not overprotective. Although very loving toward me, she was also not overly affectionate. She held me in her lap in her rocking chair by the window, but did not smother me with kisses. We played games together, but I got no advantage for my young age. She didn’t tolerate whining (see 1st Grade Hairstory) or crying that she thought excessive or without good cause. “Go upstairs if you are going to cry. I don’t want to hear it.” She stayed at home and worked hard in the house and in the large vegetable and flower gardens. Practical. Down to earth. Hard working. Disciplined routine. I loved her dearly and I know she felt the same about me. Hence her name used in the name of this blog.

I picture her as the one who had to be strong. The one who carried on. The one who had no choice but to do so. There was a young son to care for and a baby on the way. Perhaps this set the pattern for how she lived the rest of her life.

Although there were no pictures or remembrances of Wilbur visible in their home, all of these photos and papers were kept tucked away in a safe place.

Things I may have missed or gotten wrong: 

Maybe Albert was with my grandparents and Wilbur in Rockford. My belief that he stayed in Mystic with his grandparents I assume I got from a conversation with my mother. Al’s wife remembers this: Your grandmother said Al had them (measles), too, but he wasn’t nearly as sick. I had assumed that Wilbur got sick first and Al got them from him but if the boys were not together with their parents then that might not be true.Your grandmother didn’t provide any details and I didn’t ask questions.

I’ve probably made mistakes throughout this series. I’m always open to correction.

Better days:

I received this nice photo of my grandparents with Ethel and Mark after making contact with their daughter. Taken some years later, in better times.

Tom, Eveline, Ethel, Mark

My grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 1973, surrounded by most of the kids and grandkids. Unfortunately, I was not there.

And this last photo, which almost kind of matches the prompt photo of two people with big smiles. It is one of my favorites of them.

And here I lay to rest the story of an uncle I never knew, Wilbur Thomas Hoskins.

Wilbur, Eveline, Albert

April 3, 1924-January 18, 1930

Vaccinate. It saves lives.

Sepia Saturday provides bloggers with an opportunity to share their history through the medium of photographs. Historical photographs of any age or kind become the launchpad for explorations of family history, local history and social history in fact or fiction, poetry or prose, words or further images. If you want to play along, sign up to the link, try to visit as many of the other participants as possible, and have fun.

Chris and Max, Taken At Fulham Town Hall, 1949 (Third Party Album)

Please visit other participants at Sepia Saturday where you may find photos of big smiles or big stripes or big ties!

Sepia Saturday: An Uncle I Never Knew – Bills to Pay

Posted on by
12

The month of January and a health emergency declared in the state of Washington because of a measles outbreak had me thinking about an uncle I never knew.

This is a continuing series about my uncle Wilbur Thomas Hoskins, who died at five years of age due to complications following measles. You can catch up here:
A Tow-headed Boy
Measles
Who was with the family?
Funeral Record
The Salvation Army Offers Assistance
Letters of Condolence

(I took a couple of weeks off for rest and recuperation from major surgery and beginning chemo after my new cancer diagnosis. Actually, one week was more for doing whatever I wanted because I felt pretty good the week before I started the new chemo routine. I’m going to finish this series so I can go on to something new – like trying to find photos to match the Sepia Saturday prompt!  Alas, I think there are two more posts in this series. One today, and one – hopefully – next week.)

All that remains of the paper trail to help me piece together the story of little Wilbur’s life and death are receipts for payments of medical and funeral expenses. My grandparents appear to have kept most of the receipts, although a few are missing. My grandfather is always noted as the person who made the payment and I assume he did this in person and paid cash. It must have been painful to do this month after month.

In April and May of 1930, my grandfather made $5.00 and $10.00 payments to St. Anthony’s Hospital. The May receipt shows a balance due of $5.00, which was presumably paid in June, if Grandpa kept to his payment schedule. Wilbur died in January; there may have been payments made to the hospital in both January and February, so I can’t determine how much the total charges were for his hospitalization.

Funeral expenses totaled $78.00, for which my grandfather paid down $42.00 on the day of the funeral, leaving a balance of $36.00. He paid off this bill in $5.00-6.00 increments. Receipts through August 9th account for $26.00 of that balance.

And there were doctor bills to pay. Two receipts are in payment to Charles L. Leonard, M. D. One dated February 21st shows $1.00 paid and a balance of $4.00. A receipt dated August clears that debt.

There are several receipts for payments made to Dr. R. M. Bissekumer. Dr. Bissekumer and Dr. Leonard both had offices in the Rockford National Bank Building, but on different floors. With a balance due of $49.50 before the May payment, my grandparents must have owed Dr. Bissekumer at least $59.50 for the medical care he provided to Wilbur during his illness.

It makes sense to me that my grandparents first took Wilbur to Dr. Leonard and that Dr. Bissekumer treated Wilbur in the hospital – accounting for the larger bill for his services.

Dr. Bissekumer’s receipts are a bit more professional in appearance than Dr. Leonard’s.

One item of interest to me is a change of address for my grandfather between the January 29th payment and the April 12th payment. I’ll be looking into that later.

In all, I can account for $107 of debt accrued to pay for Wilbur’s medical and funeral expenses. I believe it was more since I’m not sure of the total amount for the hospital. Using a handy inflation calculator, $107 in 1930 would be equal to $1,628.72 in 2019. Truly a hardship on my grandparents during these Depression years when my grandfather’s employment was anything but steady.

I couldn’t help but try to find information about the doctors, funeral home, etc. to see what else I might find to add context to the story. Who were these doctors?

I can’t be sure if this is the Dr. Leonard in question, but this clipping sheds light on the number of cases of measles in Illinois in the year prior to Wilbur’s death.

Marengo Republican-News, 07 Mar 1929

Dr. Roger Bissekumer yielded more hits in my search. He was apparently a respected doctor, establishing his practice as a physician and surgeon in 1918. He was appointed to the position of District Health Officer in the State Health Department in 1933.

Dr. Bissekumer was married in June of 1923, about seven years before my grandparents met him. By September of 1925, his young wife was dead.

Belvidere Daily Republican, 05 Sep 1925

Dr. Bissekumer had remarried by the time my grandparents came into contact with the thirty-six-year-old physician in January 1930. Sometime after 1930, he and his wife Alice became the parents of two children. And sometime after 1933, Alice disappeared from the picture. In 1935, the doctor married Bernadine, an assistant surgical supervisor at St. Anthony’s Hospital. Bernadine gave birth to a daughter in September of 1936 and required hospitalization following a Caesarian section. At least two of the doctor’s wives were accomplished musicians, known locally for giving recitals, performing on the radio, or playing at social events. All were in their twenties when they married. He got older; his wives did not.

As if the tragic death of his first wife, a possible divorce from his second wife, and a difficult birth for his third wife weren’t enough, the doctor’s younger brother, Francis, died in 1940. Francis, who had joined his brother’s medical practice, died of a heart attack at thirty-five years of age.

Unfortunately, his story does not get better. Bernadine filed for divorce in 1943 and the scandalous case played out in the newspapers for several years. The doctor’s wife asked for custody of her child as well as the two children from his previous marriage. She claimed habitual drunkenness and “extreme and repeated cruelty.” The charges against Dr. Bissekumer were dropped, but Bernadine finally won her case in 1945, after several additional hearings and appeals.

Belvidere Daily Republican, 31 Mar 1945

Dr. Bissekumer was arrested for DUI in 1943, and apparently again in 1946. Perhaps there were other incidents. In February of 1947, he lost his right to drive for one year. It is sad to note that he collapsed in the courtroom and was taken to the hospital.

Freeport Journal-Standard, 04 Feb 1947

One month later, Dr. Bissekumer’s tragic life ended. The newspaper clippings offer no details and I found no obituary.

Dixon Evening Telegraph, 04 Mar 1947

Bernadine remarried in May.

I did not intend to go into such detail about any of the people my grandparents encountered during their time in Rockford. And I don’t know that this sheds any light on the care that he provided. Did he already have a drinking problem in 1930 when he treated Wilbur and gave medical advice to my grandparents? I don’t know.

Two sad stories that intersected in Rockford, Illinois during a measles outbreak in January, 1930.

This is my contribution to Sepia Saturday and does not in any way match the prompt photo. Please visit other participants here who have surely found some interesting interpretations.

Market Place, Locarno, Italy 1947 (Third Party Album)

Sepia Saturday provides bloggers with an opportunity to share their history through the medium of photographs. Historical photographs of any age or kind become the launchpad for explorations of family history, local history and social history in fact or fiction, poetry or prose, words or further images. If you want to play along, sign up to the link, try to visit as many of the other participants as possible, and have fun.

Sepia Saturday: An Uncle I Never Knew – Letters of Condolence

Posted on by
1

The month of January and a health emergency declared in the state of Washington because of a measles outbreak had me thinking about an uncle I never knew.

This is a continuing series about my uncle Wilbur Thomas Hoskins, who died at five years of age due to complications following measles. You can catch up here:
A Tow-headed Boy
Measles
Who was with the family?
Funeral Record
The Salvation Army Offers Assistance

As the extended family learned the news of Wilbur’s death, some sat down to write words of condolence to Tom and Eveline. Two of Tom’s three siblings were with Tom and Eveline in Rockford, Illinois, so most of the letters were from Eveline’s siblings.

The first to write were Eveline’s brother, Carl Coates, and his wife, Nellie Metcalf Coates. Carl and Nellie wrote individual letters on opposite sides of one piece of stationery. Wilbur died early on the morning of January 18th. Apparently Carl and Nellie had just received a letter telling of Wilbur’s illness when they learned of his death. They sat down to write on January 19th, but instead of sending their letter to Rockford, they sent it to Joe and Alice Coates (Joe was Carl’s and Eveline’s brother), probably assuming that the family would return to their hometown of Mystic, Iowa for the funeral.

 

Burlington Iowa
1-19-30

Dear Brother & Sister

We are certainly grieved to get the sad news of Wilburs Death. And my heart goes out in Sympathy for both of you. as this is an awful shock for you both. We would like to be with you at this time to help comfort you in your hour of need. but as we cannot our Sympathy is with you and Love to you all

Brother Carl.
(over)    

Dear Brother and Sister:-

My we were so shocked to get the news of poor little Wilbur’s death. We never knew he had been sick until about half and hour before when we rec’d a letter from your Mother.

I am not a very good letter writer when it comes to a case like this. I never know just how to express myself, but when you read this you will know I am sending you all the sympathy that one can possibly give.

With love to all,
Nellie

Alice Tingle Coates wrote a letter on January 21st. Alice was the wife of Eveline’s brother Joe. She and Eveline were in the same high school graduating class and had been friends for many years. I think they also attended normal school together.

Joe Coates, Jr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alice Tingle Coates

Mystic, Ia
Jan 21-1930

Dear Eveline & Tommy –

So shocked & very, very sorry to hear of little Wilbur’s death & know that both of you are finding it very hard to bear up from the loss. It is doubly hard to give him up at such short notice. Words of sympathy cannot help you much I know at this time & I am a very poor hand at giving comfort but dear old chum, Eveline, please know that I certainly do sympathize with both of you in this terrible hour. It is a heavy cross indeed to shoulder.

It came as a great shock to Joe as he didn’t even know he was sick. So we both send our heartfelt sympathy to you & hope that time will help to heal this great hurt.

Lovingly,
Alice and Joe

I am enclosing a letter from Carl & Nell that they sent to me to forward. Nellie is forwarding this dollar that came from Blanche. She thot you were bringing him back here & she sent it for flowers.

The Nellie who sent the dollar for flowers was Eveline’s sister, not to be confused with her sister-in-law.

Blanche Coates

The final letter is from Eveline’s sister Blanche Coates, who looks like she might be expecting one of her several children in this photo.

Jan. 23, 1930

Dear Eveline and Tommy

Our hearts sympathy is with you both.. If we had only know you were not taking the little fellow home we could have been there Monday, By driving as far as Elgin in the car then taking the bus. But we did not know and I’m very, very sorry. It’s hard to reconcile ourselves to his leaving. But we know we must carry on, with the one and only consoling tho’t, that he’s one of God’s little angels, he’ll never have the suffering an heartaches that we have.

If there’s any thing we can do to help you financially or otherwise, don’t be afraid to let us know. 

Miles has been out of work since Christmas, but we still have a few dollars and if you kids need them your more than welcome to part of them.

It’s been comforting to know  that Margie has been with you doing the little acts of kindness that I would have been glad to do, you have always been so good to me. An I know you realize how hard it is for me to get out with four little ones and the weather staying 26 below. 

Write when you can Honey. I know your poor heart is broken and I grieve with you & for you.

Lovingly,
Blanche

Blanche and her family were living in Wheeling, Il – outside of Chicago – at the time of Wilbur’s death. She realized too late that he was to be buried in Rockford, Il and not in their home town of Mystic, Iowa.

The final bits of ephemera that I will classify as correspondence are two postcards. They are not postmarked, so may have been included with letters that are no longer with the others, or perhaps given in person at another time.

On the back is the notation
Wilbur Hoskins
From
Vivian

Vivian was Wilbur’s cousin, daughter of Tom’s sister Edna Hoskins and her husband, John Martin. Vivian and Wilbur were very close in age – she would also have been about five years old at the time of Wilbur’s death. I don’t recognize the handwriting. Maybe her mother, Edna wrote it and this was Vivian’s way to participate in expressing sadness at the loss of her cousin.

The last postcard has nothing written on the back except “Wilbur.” I have no idea why this particular postcard was chosen or who it was from. I don’t readily recognize my grandfather Tom’s handwriting like I do my grandmother’s, but this does remind me of his writing.

This is my contribution to Sepia Saturday. Please visit other participants who likely responded to the prompt with dancing and good times.

Sepia Saturday provides bloggers with an opportunity to share their history through the medium of photographs. Historical photographs of any age or kind become the launchpad for explorations of family history, local history and social history in fact or fiction, poetry or prose, words or further images. If you want to play along, sign up to the link, try to visit as many of the other participants as possible, and have fun.